I came up with the name and logo of this website 5 months ago. When it popped into my head, I wasn’t sure what this was supposed to be, I just knew I needed to make it.
After I’d bought the domain, created a little logo, and set up the “Coming Soon” page, the most amazing thing happened. I allowed myself to just let it be. I didn’t force it to become something. I didn’t PLAN a damn thing. I just made it and left it.
To be honest, I’m still not sure what it will become. But maybe that’s the beauty of it.
What I do know, is what I need it for right now. There is a lot going on in my life at the moment. My dad is sick with cancer and a single round of a trial immunotherapy wrecked his lungs. He is on the other side of the country. I have some of my own health struggles. My autoimmune diseases are triggered by the stress, by the binge eating (which is also triggered by the stress), and by my inability to get a restful night of sleep (which is both a trigger and symptom of said autoimmune diseases). It’s a silly little cycle that I am currently clawing myself out of.
Writing saves me, but I don’t do it enough. I blame this on my straight up addiction to seeking perfection. If it is not perfect, I don’t share it. I fear the feedback that comes from showing the world a level of imperfection. My sun sign is Virgo, if you hadn’t guessed already.
In fact, a year and a half ago, I was lucky enough to be a part of Seth Godin’s AltMBA. The whole concept focuses on working as a community and actually SHIPPING work. Launching something before it’s perfect. Receiving and giving feedback before making any changes.
I finished the thirty day program feeling excited and accomplished, but I don’t think I was ready to let go of my lifelong commitment to perfection. To getting all of the details in place, to forcing an idea to BECOME something specific and having a full blown strategy around how to get it there. What niche would this thing be? (People always tell you that you need a fucking niche) Who is my target audience?
So for now, this is just a place for me to write, to practice releasing my attachment to perfection, to ship a post for 365 days straight (a la Seth Godin), and to heal.
I’m grabbing on to the concept of letting go.
Thanks for being here with me.
P.S. I reread this post at least 20 times… Clearly I’ve got some more letting go of perfection to do. Ha.