I was listening to an episode of Permaculture Voices and the host, Diego Footer was sharing with Javan Bernakevitch about how quickly he feels time passes.  Each year it appears to go faster. I’ve noticed this too, especially now that I’ve had kids. The fact that Lilian has been on this planet for over 4 years blows my mind.

But Javan’s response was really interesting.  He argued that all you have to do to make time slow down is to live in the moment, to really notice each second.  Where is your energy? What are you doing? How do you feel? He went on to say that he’s noticed that he has more control over his sense of time now that he is doing exactly what he enjoys doing each day.  Now that he is filling his moments with things that really truly interest him, he feels like he’s able to, in a sense, make time move more slowly. 

This idea hits me hard.  It makes me pause and imagine a life where I’m not always in a hurry, where I feel like I have the capacity to be “in” each second.  I imagine always noticing every small shift in Lilian’s face as she’s solving a problem. I imagine always really feeling Josie’s energy transform my frustration into happiness as she hugs me.  I imagine always remembering to pause and tell Jesse how much I appreciate him.

And when I think about where I am when all of this is happening, I think of being outside.  I think of taking care of animals. I think of growing food. I think of mountains. I think of quiet.

I love my life for what it is in this moment.  But I also know that I don’t have forever to transform it into the daydream that currently feels so far out of reach.  I can blame outside sources on our inability to make it all happen up until this moment, but then I’d just be lying to myself.  The only thing stopping us is ourselves. It’s our lack of commitment to educating ourselves, it’s our lack of time spent on the business plan, and the lack of motivation to search out funding opportunities.  

But that’s changing as I type this.  Every moment I am not at work or with Jesse and the girls, I am listening to a farming podcast, I’m googling bees and biodynamics and heirloom seeds or veteran grants. 

I’m not sure if it’s just the time in my life or my dad’s cancer diagnosis, but I can feel the energy within me shifting.  My priorities and future are becoming clearer. It’s all just beginning.

And to that point, a few minutes further into episode, Diego shared the idea that any moment can be your moment zero.  At any second you can decide to start again. Your life can re-begin on the day of your choosing and the past is just a giant lesson leading up to this real, true life you have decided you want to live.

How exciting is that?

P.S. If you want to know what/who I’m talking about: Diego Footer and Javan Bernakevitch Even if you aren’t into farming, their conversations with one another are worth listening to.